Update on my Mom

We got my mom settled into a care facility here in Spokane yesterday. The process was exhausting (and yet I can't sleep). There was a fire at one of the facilities here in the valley and we had a heck of a time finding a bed. My cousin Sandy was a gift from above. He runs an assisted living facility and helped pull some strings to get her into a very nice place, unfortunately it's about 15 miles from the house. This could pose some problems for my dad, but we'll have to cross that bridge later. I don't have emotional strength to worry about that part just yet.

It was a very difficult day. She is very disoriented and talks mainly of going home. This is very hard on my dad. He knows this transition is best for her and for him, but bless his heart, even after all the terrible things she's said and done, he still loves her. We are working with Medicare and his private insurance to get the financial details taken care of as well. This is just another stress for my poor daddy. If she isn't improving, she will lose medicare coverage, and his private insurance doesn't kick in until 90 days. This could end up costing him a chunk of change, but I just don't see an option. I'd say 15K is worth a few more years of life for one or both of them don't you think?

I did get some affirmation from Mom & Dad's friends who see them on a regular basis. They said they had tried to talk to dad, and they knew when I got here "the SH** would hit the fan." They all thanked me for helping him make this difficult decision. That made me feel good. I'm going to make an analogy now, don't judge me, I know they are totally different, it's just an analogy. A few years back one of our dogs got really old and we had to make a similar hard decision (I know, my mom is not a dog, and we're not putting her down, just keep reading). When the day came I sat with her and pet her and just kept thinking maybe she has one more good day left. Maybe I was making this decision a little too hastily. Maybe I wasn't seeing things clearly. But then, she started coughing and had trouble catching her breath, and I knew it was the right thing to do for her. It's like that with this decision. I look at Mom and wonder if maybe she could have handled a facility with a little less care, then something happens that helps me realize this was the best choice at this time. Maybe if we'd all been a little stronger a little sooner a less drastic choice would have worked, but we weren't.

I know this is a long post, I needed a place to express my thoughts and feelings a little. You should try this blogging thing, it is very cathardic. I appreciate all of your support. It means the world to me. Maybe the next post will be something happier. We'll go to a soccer tournament and have more pleasant things to talk about.

Love to all!

Jodi